Friday, April 1, 2011
Last year, or two years ago, or something I don't care to look up, the Suicide Girls made a film. Leza will discuss this later. But for right now, I'd like to say that Suicide Girls Must Die is the worst film to have Must Die in the title. Frankenstein Must Die? Pretty good. John Tucker Must Die? Awful. But not this awful. Suicide Girls Must Die is loaded with topless tattooed girls and I don't care. The movie is three quarters finished and I'm already writing a one star review. Because I don't care. Whoever directed Suicide Girls Must Die must die. Suicide Girls Must Die is about a bunch of Suicide Girls who go to Maine and have troubles. Some of them disappear in a boring fashion. Others remain. This is just as boring. Somehow Suicide Girls Must Die has made Maine less interesting. All of this is particularly puzzling because the makers of this film had a cabin and a multitude of cute young poseurs willing to take off their clothes. It does not take a rocket scientist to cover these girls in karo syrup and make them run through the woods crying. This is the least I would have asked for. This might be among my 100 Least Favorite Films Ever. Yes, definitely is. The next film to grievously disappoint me is going to have to work pretty hard after this one.