Monday, August 22, 2011

Corrections, Retractions and Apologies

I feel some things need to be cleared up and some apologies need to be made:

1.) Rockula is in fact awesome. I apologize for previous Rockula bashing. There was no excuse for that. Bo Diddley, Thomas Dolby and strange, sexually threatening undulations from Toni Basil should have made this a beloved vampire cult classic and not a butt of an elitist joke. Watch Rockula. I cannot say how sorry I am to have misled so many of you.

2.) Suicide Girls Must Die was never watched again. By anyone. This is why there was no entry on it. You try watching that crap. If you want us to watch it again and review it, you can Paypal us 5.99, which is what we paid for that pile of horse shit.

3.) Mykle Hansen, who so generously offered his time to help us with the Rudy Vallee werebear conundrum last year put out a new book last November. Buy it.

4.) Jordan Krall has a new book out. Buy it.

5.) In June, I put out a new book. Buy it.

6.) I would like to apologize for our lack of coverage in regards to The Manipulator with Mickey Rooney. Jordan and Leza are very, very weak. I know you want The Manipulator news here and now. And I'm tempted to give it to you myself. I swear that if Jordan and Leza do not watch The Manipulator, I will do a lengthy solo post.

7.) Why did we forget to write about Santa Claus Conquers the Martians? We were drunk, I guess. It did not stop us on previous occasions, but this time, it got us. Thank you Kirk and Nicole for providing 8 months of entertainment for Dollarbin Massacre fans.

8.) Halloween 3 still sucks. And I'm sorry for that.