Sunday, March 11, 2012


Doing this post reminded me how truly passionate I am about trash. It was hard to narrow it down to these few, but here goes:



This movie was considered trash when it came out and that opinion has not softened with time. It is still a very misunderstood movie, with just cause. Glen or Glenda is not particularly lewd by today's standards, but that does not diminish its strangeness. It is a halfhazard patchwork of styles. It is delivered in documentary format, though it most certainly is not one. Entire scenes are conveyed solely via V/O and a fixed camera on an empty room. There are dark surreal sequences that attempt to convey the confusion of the protagonist, played by Ed Wood himself, who is conflicted about his proclivity for cross dressing. He asserts that he is a normal heterosexual man who wants to marry his girlfriend, played by his real life girlfriend, Dolores Fuller. Her acting is beyond awful, which adds to the magic somehow. Ed Wood appears in all his angora clad glory. He argues for the stigma of cross dressing to be lifted, which is brave. He makes up fake statistics and claims men's clothes are simply too uncomfortable and men's hats cause baldness, which is confusing. The fact that this film is disjointed adds to its novelty. The fact that Ed Wood is dead serious is hilarious. The fact that he made this movie on no budget in a time when this subject was clearly taboo, is beyond admirable and makes me love this man more than I can say with words. Hooray for Ed Wood, king of the trashheap!


This movie kicks all kinds of ass and it stars the lovely Reiko Ike who will stop at nothing to bring down the rival Yakuza gang who have been murdering women and getting them hooked on smack so that they will be obedient drug mules. The violence towards women is very disturbing but the revenge is so much sweeter because of that. If you like to see hot Asian chicks kicking ass this is the movie for you. The tone is a strange cross between hentai and a dark gangster film. There is little that is not shown and the colors are vivid and gorgeous. This movie does the amazing job of being a voyeurs ultimate fantasy and having a powerful message of female sisterhood and empowerment. The grand finale is pretty much the ending of KILL BILL VOL. I but with nakedness and golden showers. I dare not reveal more. It will blow your mind in all kinds of ways.


When a woman must survive in the Nazi occupied Netherlands she does what she can. She is beautiful. She was a once successful singer, before the war forced her to go into hiding. She is also Jewish. In order to infiltrate the enemy she worms her way into their company and seduces a high officer. Somehow this movie is thoroughly trashy and not any less smart because of it. Somehow you are with her, every step of the way. Only Mr. TrashKing AKA director of Showgirls and Basic Instinct could pull off this feat. The marriage of sex and violence is beyond awkward in Showgirls. But Black Book is basically a mash up of Hitchcock's Notorious and Tarantino's Inglorious Basterds, if they were hot and wildly un PC. In this dark tale of seduction and suspense there is a palatable sense of horror and tragedy. War creates situations that would be unthinkable in times of peace. It turns an unblinking eye to the jaded adult world of compromises and deceit, and of heartbreak and courage in the face of all adversity. This is a movie about what the heart can stand, what the body can endure and what it looks like to try to be a human being in inhuman times. The grand finale is brutal and chilling. Her punishment for betrayal is something that can only be seen to be believed. Watch this if you dare!


My most recent discovery is this gem of precious filth and depravity. It is guerrilla cinema at its best. is haunting, magical and strange. It is viciously satirical, politically thought provoking and a decadent feast for the eyes and senses. It is like diving into a pig trough and finding so much delicious candy that gets you high and makes you want to be wild, take off your clothes, fuck like a maniac, start a revolution and rejoice in your bestial humanity! This movie is like Jodorowsky and Bunuel on crack. Sweet Movie was banned in Poland and got all kinds of people stirred up in all kinds of ways. This movie is dangerous because it is an active assault on the senses. It aims to confuse and discombobulate. And it succeeds. When you are done you don't know which end of you is up but you feel awake in a whole new way. There are two women the plot follows, one goes through a strange series of adventures including getting packed in a suitcase, sold to a millionaire as his virgin bride and getting her naked body covered in chocolate for a commericial. The other lives on a boat that has a huge Karl Marx face on the front. She is a revolutionary and she has more sugar than she knows what to do with but her love is deadly. Everybody should see this movie right now! WARNING!!The most disgusting scene in the movie is real and was not in the script!!


Bad trash is disappointing trash. Trash that is trash but not fun at all! SHAME SHAME SHAME on these!


The plot is that there's a Suicide Girls photo shoot in some spooky cabin in the woods. They don't know why the're going to such an unglamorous location and are kinda confused but go anyway. Girls start to disappear. The remaining girls panic slightly. More girls get killed. More girls panic slightly more. If there was a script to this trashorama, it was not a very good one. The dialogue is wooden and predictable and the continued ignorance is laughable. The chicks in the movie were either high the whole time or were pretending to be, in any case, there is very little dramatic tension or titillation. The only reasons for watching this movie were not present: hot chicks exposed, hot chicks getting scared and slaughtered in horrible ways. If you wanna get off, get off this train, 'cause it ain't going nowhere!


Anne Hathaway and Bijou Phillips play two rich girls who are bored with their privileged lives and decide to slum it with the local gang scene. They get a rush and come back for more, which leads swiftly to getting their stupid asses raped and hooked on crack. Their lives fall apart faster than you can say jailbait. You feel bad for these girls for getting fucked, but they are so goddamned stupid, you just throw your hands up in the air.

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