Saturday, February 18, 2012

Justin Grimbol on Juvenile Delinquency

New Bizarro Author Series author Justin Grimbol knows juvenile delinquency like the back of his hand. His book The Crud Masters is a fun story about a gang of loveable teen miscreants who have to overcome giant robot adversity with only the help of a giant monster and a bear with gigantic breasts. It's a great read and it's very pro delinquency. So, we asked Justin, "what are your favorite and least favorite films about juvenile delinquency?" Well, Justin gave us this list.

This movie is a classic. Each character is so loveable. They’re rough and sleazy, but, at the same time, very affectionate with each other. That’s what makes the movie so great. It does an incredible job showing the affection between these boys.
And then there’s the brawl at the end. It’s epic as hell. It gets me so hyped. Watching this movie makes me want to get drunk and cry and hug/wrestle with my buddies.
My only problem is that it spends too much time showing how tragic the Greaser’s lives are. There are not enough scenes showing them just hanging out and partying and being rascals. There’s also no sex in the movie. I hate it when movies don’t have sex scenes.
Still, it’s a classic. It gets sappy. But I like that. I’m sensitive.

This movie stars Reese Witherspoon. She plays Vanessa, the most misunderstood teenager girl in history of cinema. She’s a sweety pie, and has nothing but the purest intentions. But she constantly gets fucked over.
At one point Keifer Sutherland gives her a ride. They bond. He gets her to open up about her dysfunctional family life. Then he turns on her. He tells Vanessa he’s going to kill her then fuck her dead body. Vanessa’s not as innocent and vulnerable as she seems. She ends up beating the shit out of him and leaving his body shot-up and mangled. Somehow he survives. Vanessa gets arrested, but escapes from prison. The rest of the movie is one long ass kicking.
This movie isn’t just a great movie about juvenile delinquency. It’s a great revenge flick. Vanessa is the most badass femme fatale---ever.
There’s a sequel to this movie. It stars Natosha Leon. She plays a fifteen year old prostitute named White Girl. She’s not as misunderstood as Venessa. White girl is just violent. This movie’s is not as good as the first movie, but still really fun---that is, if you like watching teenage girls killing people as much as I do.

Dazed and confused:
This film has inspired more pre-teens to smoke weed and party than any movie ever made. I was straight edge when I first saw this movie. What a waste of hormones. I didn’t start to truly appreciate this movie until I was much older.
What I love about this movie is that every single kid in it is a complete delinquent. None of them have any respect for authority. They are all born to party. The nerds, the jocks, the pot heads, all party together.
Partying is an important part of being a kid. This movie should be part of everyone’s early adolescents. It teaches kids how to be kids.

Emilio Estevez’s depiction of Billy the Kid makes Clint Eastwood look like about as tough as Ellen Degenerous. He’s such a rascal. And he’s so charming. His role in life is to make everyone else in the world seem like complete wussies.
His whole gang is great. It’s like the kids from Breakfast club were all given revolvers and told to kick ass.
I first saw this movie when I was ten years old. I fell in love with it instantly. My parent’s friends would ask me what I wanted to be when I grew up and I would tell them I wanted to be an Outlaw, like Billy the Kid.

A good delinquency movie should make you want to party and break shit. This movie did the opposite for me. It was soulless and dark. The characters were despicable. Each scene made me cringe. I saw this movie when I was young. It made me want to hold on to my innocents with all my strength. It made want to hide at home, and watch Full House and eat popcorn and hide from the scary world of adolescents. Any movie that makes me watch to watch Full House is a product of the devil.
It was written by Harmony Korine. I loved his movies. His movie Gummo is amazing and a runner up for my list of great Juvenile Delinquent movies. But KIDZ is a scare flick. Most juvenile delinquency flicks are. I like the kind of movies that glorify the being a delinquent.

This movie had so much potential. It starts a young Leo DeCaprio and Marky Mark. They are so good at acting like delinquents. I love the scene where they huff spray paint and then barf on that old guy. It’s hilarious. Glorifying inhalants takes some real skill. But they rushed into the heroin shit too quickly. It’s another scare flick.
The book is better. Jim Carrol was a bad ass kid, filled with tons of mischief and poetry. I love that book. Most of it is just him bragging about his exploits. It’s not as sappy and tragic as the movie. The kid just took on being a teenager like it was an extreme sport. Which it is, if you do it right.

So there you have it. Justin Grimbol clearly knows how much fun juvenile delinquency should be. Keep this in mind when you're wondering if you should buy The Crud Masters. The answer is yes. Buy it HERE.

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