I asked Spike to tell us about her four favorite romantic films and two least favorite romantic films. And she did. Cause that's the kind of Bizarro adventuress and street performer she is. And here's her response:
My Four Favorite, and Two Not-So-Favorite, Romantic Erotic Films, or How to Get the Lovin’ on this Valentine’s Day
What makes a movie romantic and erotic varies from person-to-person. Some people think gore and death are romantic and erotic, while others swear by those movies Cinemax used to show late Friday nights in the 90s.
Me? I like lots of sexy, implied erotica. Sure, I like to watch, but I like to imagine even more, especially when the characters and world lie on the fringes or go completely over the edge of our reality.
Favorites:
La Belle et La Bête (1946). Sure this film is essentially the classic French fairytale, which in itself is quite romantic and erotic, but what really makes Jean Cocteau’s version of “Beauty and the Beast” are the delicious bizarre, creepy details throughout Beast’s castle: disembodied, bare arms holding lit candelabras; live carvings and statues that breathe smoke and watch the characters; gorgeous décor, including gauzy curtains and a room that looks more like the Garden of Eden than a bed chamber. Growls and screams throughout the night.
And then there’s the beast himself. The beast is not maybe-sorta-dangerous. No, menacing and powerful -- the beast IS bad-ass. And Belle? Once she moves into the beast’s castle, and she and the beast have their hawt power exchange (“May I watch?” “You are the Master.” “No, you are.”), she’s even more of a bad-ass.
And this is before you think about what goes on behind the closed doors.
King Kong (1933). While we’re talking about beauty and the beast and bad-ass characters, let’s chat about King Kong, one of the hawtest, sexiest, most romantic and incredibly erotic movies ever made. Ever.
Just for starters, what’s more romantic and erotic than setting sail to exotic, mysterious locales, when adventures you can’t even imagine are waiting for you? And then there’s the men. King Kong is full of strong, determined men. And then there’s Ann Darrow. Gorgeous, strong, determined, and incredibly sexy in her flowing, gauzy gowns. Who wouldn’t get hot, watching her stand on the ship’s deck, as the sea breeze blows through her hair and shifts the sheer fabric of her dress?
But best of all is Kong, and his innate, animalistic desire to possess Ann Darrow.
Can you see it? Ann Darrow, in her white, sinuous gown, has been tied up by the inhabitants of the mysterious island as a sacrifice to satiate Kong’s lusts. And then Kong comes to her, revealing his massive canines. And then Kong takes Ann, holding her gently in his mighty hand, and disappears into the jungle. Kong fights a T-Rex, and giant snake, and a pterodactyl when they show too much interest in Ann Darrow. And then, the beastly, mighty Kong -- always gentle with his intended -- strokes Ann, exploring her body and her dress… Until she’s retrieved by Jack, the guy Ann thinks she belongs with. (She’s wrong. I’m telling you – SHE BELONGS WITH KONG!)
Of course, we know how the story tragically ends. But we also know this: “It was the beauty that killed the beast.”
*swoon*
Lili (1953). Just beneath the charming, innocent surface, of both the title character and the film, is the intense, erotic juxtaposition between naivety and desire.
Lili is set against the background of the Cabaret de Paris, a carnival where Lily, a young girl with no family or prospects, finds work, first as a waitress and then as a live performer in the carnival’s puppet show.
Though the scenes where Lily desires the magician, imagining herself as a sexy, adult woman, are lovely and sensual, the story’s true erotic heart lies in the relationship between Lily, the puppets she performs with and the carnival’s puppeteer, Paul.
Paul the puppeteer also owns the Cabaret de Paris, and he’s a man with a difficult past. Though he is immediately drawn to Lili, he pushes her away because of this past. Because of how he treats her, Lili has no use for Paul, though she’s in love with the puppets he operates: Carrot Top the boy puppet, Renardo the fox, Marguerite the dancer and Golo the Giant.
Once innocent Lily learns the sometimes harsh realities of love, sex and desire, she decides to flee the carnival. However, the puppets come to her as live, full-sized creatures; Lily dances with them in a gorgeous, magical sequence. They reveal that each of them is a piece of Paul the puppeteer, and that, by loving them, truly Lily loves him, as well. Lily returns to the carnival, and falls into Paul’s arms.
Delicious.
Labyrinth (1986). I see you. You’re laughing, aren’t you. You shouldn’t.
I first saw Labyrinth at the cheap theater in my hometown of Provo, Utah. It was a double feature matinee with Short Circuit, another romantic and erotic film.
This film stirred me in a way no film had stirred me before, and only partially because of David Bowie’s tight pants.
The settings are lush, Sarah is beautiful and wears gorgeous, sensual clothing. The characters are fantastically created. And then there’s the Goblin King.
Oh, Goblin King. With your long, spiky hair and sexy makeup. With your cloak and black leather gloves and pirate shirt and boots and crystal contact juggling ball. Your self-confidence and strength. And how you expose yourself and become weak, purely because of a beautiful young girl.
Dear reader, how can you not find the ball scene romantic and sexy? How can you not find the final scene where Sarah overcomes the Goblin King lovely and erotic?
Go and watch it, and tell me that the struggle for power between Sarah and the Goblin King doesn’t have you biting at the bit.
Least Favorites:
Hansel and Gretel (An Opera Fantasy) (1954). You think it’s a children’s film. You think it a gorgeous stop motion animated classic of a classic opera.
Sure Hansel and Gretel (An Opera Fantasy) is those things, but it’s also a story about a love triangle between a witch, and a brother and sister.
And sure the setting is lush and gorgeous. And sure Rosina Rubylips is a witch who has got it going on. Sure, the love story between Hansel and Gretel is sweet and romantic. Sure the coming of the Sandman and restoration of the children is romantic. And sure that striptease Rosina does for Gretel is hardcore erotic. And there’s some pretty good BDSM between Rubylips and Hansel.
What keeps this movie from being a romantic, erotic favorite?
The main characters.
Hansel and Gretel are beyond annoying. They are the epitome of what’s wrong in children’s film. They’re whining, twee and obnoxious. Saccharine and entitled.
Now, if the Rosina had finally stuffed Hansel and Gretel full of raisins and almonds, and THEN eaten them all up? That could have been a good romantic, erotic film with a satisfying ending.
The Saragossa Manuscript (1965). I love this movie. I love this movie hardcore. This movie is full of romantic and erotic elements: gorgeous women, sexy men, strange setting and weird events. Charged music. Gorgeous costumes. You can feel the romance and the eroticism seeping through the DVD sleeve.
So what’s my gripe?
This movie is all promise and no fulfillment. It’s all tease and no follow through.
But Spike, you say, I thought you liked to use your imagination.
It’s true – I do. And The Saragossa Manuscript doesn’t let me use my imagination to create romantic, erotic content based on this movie. It seems each time a character is going to find love and romance, a yummy night full of erotic delights, all the promise is cut off by conniving and manipulating ghosts. Or maybe not ghosts. It’s hard to say.
Still, watch the movie. Watch it several times just to ensure you catch all the weirdness this movie embraces. As long as you’re not looking for hawt, Valentine’s Day fun, it’s a great film.
Spike Marlowe everyone. Buy Placenta of Love. Buy the Kindle version too. And then you can participate in the fan fiction contest.
But that's not all for the romance special. There's more romance to come later today. Find out what my favorite romantic films are. Find out about Leza's favorite romantic films. Find out just how much fun mayhem can be visited on a porno set and how you or your lover can be the proud owner of a personalized Petrarchan sonnet! It's gonna be VERY sensual.
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